humor

It’s Good For The Soul…

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Image result for ice cream

 

Last week, I took my children to a restaurant. My six-year-old son asked if he could say grace. As we bowed our heads, he said, “God is good. God is great. Thank you for the food, and I would even thank you more if mom gets us ice cream for dessert. And liberty and justice for all! Amen!”

Along with the laughter from the other customers nearby, I heard a woman remark, “That’s what’s wrong with this country. Kids today don’t even know how to pray. Asking God for ice cream! Why, I never!”

Hearing this, my son burst into tears and asked me, “Did I do it wrong? Is God mad at me?” As I held him and assured him that he had done a terrific job and God was certainly not mad at him, an elderly gentleman approached the table.

He winked at my son and said, “I happen to know that God thought that was a great prayer.” “Really?” my son asked. “Cross my heart.” Then, in a theatrical whisper he added (indicating the woman whose remark had started this whole thing), “Too bad she never asks God for ice cream. A little ice cream is good for the soul sometimes.”

Naturally, I bought my kids ice cream at the end of the meal. My son stared at his for a moment and then did something I will remember the rest of my life. He picked up his sundae and, without a word, walked over and placed it in front of the woman.

With a big smile, he told her, “Here, this is for you. Ice cream is good for the soul sometimes.”

 

Refs

  1. http://varietyreading.carlsguides.com/christian-stories/icecream.php
  2. Google.com

 

~END

Little Sayings, Big Meanings…

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Be Fishers of Men…. You catch ’em, He’ll Clean ’em.
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A clean conscience makes a soft pillow.
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A family altar can alter a family.
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A lot of kneeling will keep you in good standing.
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Are you wrinkled with burden? Come on into Church for a faith lift!
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Coincidence is when God chooses to remain anonymous.
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Do your best and then sleep in peace. God is Awake.
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Don’t put a question mark where God put a period.
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Exercise daily. Walk with the Lord!
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Fear knocked. Faith answered. No one was there.
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Forbidden fruits create many jams.
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Give God what’s right, not what’s left!
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Give Satan an inch and he’ll be a ruler.

 

Read more at the website below!

 

 

Refs:

  1. http://www.inspire21.com/stories/christianstories/ChristianBumperStickers
  2. Google.com

 

~END

 

 

Uh, Excuse Me!

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Image result for animated people laughing

 

 

Creation

An atheist scientist came to God and said, “We’ve figured out how to make a man without you.”

God said, “OK, let me see you do it.”

So the atheist bent down to the ground and scooped up a handful. But God stopped him and said, “Oh, no you don’t. Get your own dirt!”

 

The Ham Sandwich

A Jewish rabbi and a Catholic priest were good friends. At a picnic one day, the priest was eating a ham sandwich. “You know,” he said to his friend, “this ham sandwich is delicious. I know you’re not supposed to eat ham, but I don’t understand why such a good thing would be forbidden. When will you break down and try it?”

To which the rabbi replied, “At your wedding.”

 

The Bible, Through the Eyes of a Child

In the beginning, which was close to the start, there wasn’t anything except God, darkness and some gas. The Bible says, “The Lord, thy God, is one,” but I think He has to be much older than that.

Anyway, God made the world and then He said, “Give me some light,” and somebody gave it to Him. He split an atom and made Eve. Adam and Eve didn’t wear any clothes, but they weren’t embarrassed because God hadn’t invented mirrors, yet.

Adam and Eve sinned by eating one bad apple and they were driven out of the Garden of Eden. I’m not sure what God drove them in because He hadn’t invented cars, either.

Adam and Eve’s son, Cain, hated his brother as long as he was Abel. After a while, all of the first people died, except Methuselah, who lived to be, like, a million years old.

 

Refs:

  1. “jokesclean.com”
  2. Google

 

~END

More Fun With Church Sign Wisdom!

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Related image

 

 

Wal-Mart might save you money but, Church saves your soul.

Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it.

Pessimists need a kick in the can’ts.

To speak gratitude is courteous and pleasant, to enact gratitude is generous and noble, but to live gratitude is to touch Heaven.

The only time you should look down on a man, is when you are helping him up!

The 2 most important days of your life: the day you were born. The day you were born again.

Thank God we live in a country where we can Thank God.

The will of God will never lead you where the grace of God will not protect you.

We don’t need to think less of ourselves, we need to think of ourselves less.

Come as you are you can change on the inside.

Live So That When People Get to Know You They Will Get To Know Christ.

If God only wanted perfect people to do His work, nothing would ever get done.

Can’t sleep??? Don’t count sheep… Talk to the Shephard!!!

People say motivation does not last. Neither does bathing, but we must do it daily.

“Soul” food served here!

 

Refs: “sayingsforchurchsigns.com” “Google”

 

~END

Ever Read A Church Sign?

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Image result for funny church signs

 

Image result for funny church signs

 

Image result for funny church signs

 

Image result for funny church signs

 

Image result for funny church signs

 

Image result for funny church signs

 

 

Ref:

  1. Google